In the Dark
by Narukami Aiko
Summary: Series of oneshot fics. A companion piece to my story Harry Potter and the Order of Sorcerers. Takes place during ch.9 of that story. See through the eyes of Jade, Snape, Eriol, Harry, and Sakura. 3 of 5 complete
1. In the Dark

**A/N:** Hey all! The following is a little one-shot fic that I've been inspired to write. It goes along with my CCS/HP crossover fic "Harry Potter and the Order of Sorcerers". If you haven't read that, then you probably won't really understand this. It is not meant to be a stand alone piece. I might do a couple more of these, from different perspectives, depending on the response I get from this one. Anyways. On with it then, eh? I hope you enjoy this, and look for another Author's Note at the end of the piece. Thanks!  
  
**Disclaimer:** I own Jade. Really, I do. She's all mine. I invented her. However, her world, the Harry Potter Universe, does not belong to me. It belongs to J.K. Rowling, and all those lovely companies that have the rights to it. All Card Captor Sakura stuff belongs to CLAMP and it's other people. Not to me. Cause I don't get paid to write fanfics. Nope. It'd be cool if I did though, right?

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Jade sat down behind the desk in her new office. The second morning class had begun, and she didn't have long before lunch. She sighed quietly, leaning back in her chair. Silently Jade lifted a hand to the necklace she now wore. Sure, it was pretty, and Jade had always secretly been a fan of Slytherin house, but there had to be more to the necklace than what it appeared to be. Sighing again Jade sat up and scooted closer to her desk. She reached into a box on her right and withdrew a small leather-bound journal. It was smooth, old black leather, embossed with Celtic knots of all kinds. As she opened the book to the next blank page, Jade dipped her favorite quill into the inkpot on her desk. She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts. Then she began to write.  
  
_12th September  
  
Today is turning out to be another horrid day. I knew it would be, though, especially after that incident last night with Tom. He can be so very temperamental... and so incredibly predictable. Lucky for me Severus decided to follow me. He's becoming more and more my shadow lately. I have the oddest feeling that he saw Lucius and I earlier.  
  
Ugh. That's right. Lucius visited today. I cannot STAND that man. He's the most horrid Malfoy I've ever met (though Narcissa is a close second, even if she isn't a Malfoy by blood). Lucius is much worse than his father, though. Despicable man, honestly. I'm still holding out a little hope for Draco, but with a father like Lucius Malfoy, you can't help but turn out horrible.  
_  
_Lucius brought me a present, from Tom. It's a Slytherin House Crest pendant. I'm sure it's enchanted and hexed with all sorts of things... probably not safe for anyone else to touch. But the real reason Lucius visited was to get a glimpse of Sakura, I'm sure. That poor girl. She's so wonderful, so innocent... and now she's caught up in the middle of an epic battle that she really shouldn't be involved in! This is a war for witches and wizards, not sorcerers and card mistresses! I'm doing my best to look out for her, but I'm afraid to get too close. I know she's much smarter than most people give her credit for... she's bound to figure it out sooner or later. I must be prepared when that occasion comes.  
  
My new office isn't so bad. I'm still crushed that I won't be teaching. I really do love to teach... Maybe Albus will let me teach again sometime in the future... though probably not, seeing as he probably won't be speaking to me by then. But I don't want to think too far ahead right now. I want to be content with the way things are right now... it will all change much sooner than I'd like, and when it happens, I'll be left alone again. This time there won't be anyone to help me pick up the pieces... no friends. Dumbledore, McGonagall, Severus, Eriol... none of them will want anything to do with me.  
_  
_Speaking of Eriol... I'm sure he'll do fine as DADA professor. He'll probably have sense enough to conduct classes based entirely on theory, and will also probably find a way to help the students practice that theory outside of a classroom setting. He's a very ingenious man. I'm surprised he hasn't seen through me yet. One would think he'd be a little more observant.  
  
The most observant person I know, however, also seems to be quite oblivious when it comes to me. I thought that Severus hated me. But he doesn't hate me... he doesn't like me really. He tolerates me. He sympathizes with me. Severus is one of the only people who can understand... who can comprehend what I'm going through. After all, he isn't all that big on the greatness of Tom either. I truly hope that he will make it out of this war alive. I've never actually known what real love is, but I'm pretty sure I love him. Of course, he doesn't feel the same way. He is Severus Snape, Potions Master of Hogwart's, the Greasy Git, the Great Bat! Students tremble at the mere thought of him!! A man like that is incapable of love... or at least, he tells himself that he is incapable of it so often that he actually DOES become incapable of it. Mind over matter, as the saying goes.  
_  
Jade paused, dipping her quill into the inkpot again. Writing her thoughts in this journal had always helped her bring a bit of peace to her mind, though she felt she was completely undeserving of that peace. She stared down at the words in the journal, which stared back up at her. Jade sighed softly, and brought the quill to the journal again.  
  
_Perhaps, when this is all over, he will find a way to forgive me. Maybe they will all forgive me. But it is almost too much to hope for. Then again... if I do not hold on to that tiny glimmer of hope, I fear I may lose myself in the darkness. I belong in the darkness, though... I am vile, wretched, and undeserving of anything good in any way! I gave in to the darkness a long time ago, and now I can never go back to the light. It is too late. These deeds cannot be undone. In the end...  
  
_She stopped abruptly, not wanting to finish that sentiment. Jade quickly closed the journal and put the quill down, then placed the journal into the top drawer of her desk. She locked the drawer and glanced at her watch. Surprisingly, just as she glanced at her watch, the magical bell rang, signaling the end or morning classes and the beginning of lunch. Jade stood, grabbing her robes, and fled from her new office towards the Great Hall. She left her thoughts locked in the darkness with her journal.

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**A/N:** Woo. That was quite fun. A bit short, I know, in comparison to how much I usually write. Hopefully I didn't give away _too _much!! I thought this little one-shot would give a bit of insight into Jade's character. I know exactly where "Harry Potter and the Order of Sorcerers" is going, but I haven't had time to sit down and write for a while. I promise that chapters 10 and 11 of "HP: OoC" will be posted by the end of the week. I really hope you liked this one-shot! I greatly appreciate reviews, so if you wouldn't mind leaving me one... I do like to reply to reviews as well, so if you have questions, leave an email addy or check the next chapter of "HP:OoC" to see my response to your review!  
  
**Shameless Plug:** Also, in the next week or two, look for my next fic – it's going to be an AU Harry Potter Year 5! I actually had it posted up on FFN, but I took it down to do some re-writes (I'd begun it before book five came out, and since book 5 came out I've been increasingly dissatisfied with it). If you like Alanni Jade (and I hope you do!), then you'll like the fic. It was originally entitled "Snape's Love Story" (how horribly named is that?), but now I'm in the process of re-naming as well as rewriting. Jade is the new DADA in the story, and she is someone from Snape's past that he'd really rather forget. A delicate friendship blossoms between the two of them, until one day Jade disappears! The story is actually almost complete, but I'm having trouble deciding on the end (I'm torn as to whether it should be sort of happy or just completely miserable). Anyway, enough of my ramblings! Again, thanks for reading! And I really do love reviews! They sustain me and make me write more!!! Arigatou gozaimasu, minna-san.


	2. In the Shadows

**A/N:** Hey everyone! So, my one-shot "In the Dark" has been well received thus far. I thought it might be interesting to take the one-shot for Jade and do more one-shots for other characters that take place at the same moment Jade is having her little inner reflection. I think I'm going to do at least 3 more of these. So now I present to you the second little one- shot companion piece for my story "Harry Potter and the Order of Sorcerers"! This one is a TINY bit different.. it's written in 1st person point of view.  
  
**Disclaimer:** From here on out I'd like for my wonderful readers to assume that I own nothing but Alanni Jade... at least where this fanfiction is concerned.

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After letting Lucius get a glimpse of the great Mistress of the Cards, he and I returned to my office to have a little drink. I really cannot stand the man, so I quickly down my glass of firewhiskey, and wait patiently for him to finish his own drink. Of course, Lucius takes his time with the drink, savoring the flavor of the alcohol. Lucius always has been one to enjoy the finer things in life (and this particular bottle is amongst the finer things in life).  
  
I listen to him as he babbles on and on about how great our master is, how he looks forward to cleansing the world of Muggles, Mudbloods, and dirty Half-Breeds. I sometimes wonder if he realizes that our wonderful master isn't exactly of the purest of blood. I also sometimes wonder if Lucius _ever _listened to anything I told him about genetics. Of course he wouldn't, but if he had Lucius would realize that in order to keep magic alive and keep the wizarding race healthy the genes need to be spread apart. It's simply a bad idea when cousins marry. Which is why I never let my father marry me off to any of _my_ relatives.  
  
Sometimes I wonder if Lucius will ever shut up. He's still talking. I think he's in love with the sound of his own voice. How could I have ever looked up to this man? How could I have ever admired him? I mean, if nothing else, I would've respected him at least somewhat growing up, in the way that I respect _all _the members of my family (after all, they are the only family I've got... and it's still sometimes hard to believe that Lucius is my second cousin).  
  
Finally, after one of his trademark cryptic warnings about keeping my loyalties in tact, Lucius floos out of my office and back to his manor. After glancing up at the clock on my wall I decide that there is just enough time before lunch to have a shower. Sure, I took a shower this morning... but after being with Lucius I feel quite dirty again.  
  
I let the shower run while I undress. Damned buttons... sometimes I just can't stand them. There are too many! But I've always worn clothes like these. My parents were very traditional. And I feel most comfortable in them. I look at the clock beside my bed. There's twenty minutes before lunch. Just enough time.  
  
The scalding hot water of the shower burns my skin, but if I don't keep it this hot I can't get all the filth off of me. Some would call me a masochist for taking a shower like this. Actually, I think the only person who would understand would be Jade. No, Lani. I must remember to call her Lani. But she has always been Jade in my mind.  
  
We are becoming closer... becoming good friends. I don't know if I'm frightened or overjoyed. I really don't want to let her get too close to me. Albus is too close. He's like a father to me (and that's pretty strange considering my own father isn't like a father to me). I constantly find myself seeking out Albus' approval, and relishing the feeling of Albus being proud of me. I'm scared to find that I have begun to seek out not only Lani's approval, but her attention in general. I want to spend time with her. But I can't get close to her. I'll probably be dead before the end of this school year, and I just can't let her suffer because of me.  
  
And I've got to remember to distance myself from Kinomoto as well... Sakura is a wonderful girl. She's so... good, pure. I don't want to make her dirty by being around her. Which reminds me, I should make the shower hotter next time.  
  
I finally get out of the shower and dry myself with a charm. A quick glance over at the clock in my bedroom lets me know that I've got about five minutes before the magical bell will ring and signal the beginning of lunch. I dress as quickly as possibly, and put every emotion out of my mind. I must act the part of the hated Potions Professor now, because I will be out amongst the students. I must favor all those in Slytherin, and slight every other student. I must not-so-secretly despise Muggles and Mudbloods because if I don't those brats in my house will run to their parents and tell them that Severus is behaving strangely. Their parents, in turn, will tell Voldemort, who will then kill me.  
  
But perhaps I should die. I don't like having to act the way I do. I want to be able to openly praise any student in my class, regardless of house. I want to live, yes, but not if it means that I have to keep up this pointless charade.  
  
For now I'll keep living the lie. Oh, and there's the bell. I must get to lunch so that I can scowl at "Dumbledore's Golden Trio" as Potter, Weasley, and Granger are sometimes called. And I must remember to be rude to Kinomoto. Oh, and I've also got to remember to ignore Lani. She sits next to me at every meal, but if I don't stop talking to her soon then I will never be able to. Damnit... here she comes. If only I could hide in the shadows... but then again, the Great Hall doesn't _have_ shadows.

Damn.

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**A/N:** Ooo. That was fun. It turned out longer than the last one. Hopefully you all liked it. I will do at least 3 more of these (one for Harry, one for Eriol, and one for Sakura). I think that's all that I will do though. So thank you for reading! Please review and let me know what you think! Now I'd like to thank the wonderful people who have already reviewed "in the dark" (I'll also make mention of them in the next A/N on the main fic)!  
  
**Freaky Person:** Vote is accounted for. - The ending is going to depend on whatever mood I'm in when I write it though, probably. That's how the tone for most of my stories goes. I always write each chapter all at one, so that the tone of the chapter is the same and it always depends on what kind of mood I'm in. Thank you so much for your review! I greatly appreciate it! And I'm glad you like my stories!  
  
**Baby-sakura:** Yes! I am writing more of "HP: OoS"! I should have chapter ten posted either tomorrow night (6/17) or by Friday night (6/18). Thank you so much for your interest! And thank you for reviewing!!  
  
**Ildreen Love:** I wish I could tell you what Jade was up to, but then.. that'd ruin the story, now wouldn't it? - You'll just have to wait and find out! Thank you so much for your review!  
  
Thanks everyone! Come back soon! I should have another one-shot for this series by Friday or Saturday. –Aiko.

**Shameless Plug:** Go check out anything and everything written by Mikazukino Hikari! She's going to be putting up a series of one-shots that are the result of the two of us being very very silly. So go read those!


	3. In the Middle

**A/N:** Whee! This is so much fun, isn't it? Welcome to the third installment of "In the Dark"! This one is written from our favorite Boy- Who-Lived's perspective. I hope that everyone is enjoying this little series so far. I'm having a blast writing it. Alright, for the moment I'll shut up so you can get to reading! Enjoy!  
  
**Disclaimer:** See previous installments.

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Harry propped his head upon his hand as Professor Binns' voice droned on. He winced – not only was his scar tingling a bit today, but his hand was still sore from his detention with Umbridge last night. He was definitely not looking forward to the next detention he had with that toad of a woman.  
  
He was spacing out, falling into his own little world, when the rustle of parchment brought him back to reality. Harry looked down at the desk in front of him – it was a note from Ron. He glanced up at the teacher, who of course was more than concentrating on his lecture, and then he glanced over at Ron on his right. Ron urged him to open the note. Harry unfolded the parchment. _Harry, you feeling alright mate? You don't look so well. –R.  
_  
Harry picked up his quill and scribbled a short reply to Ron. _I'm a bit tired from detention last night. And I've got a lot on my mind. –H.  
_  
After passing the parchment back to Ron, Harry began to let his mind drift again. Once more, however, his thoughts were interrupted by Ron passing a note to him. _Do you think that Sakura's friend is going to make a good DADA? And do you think Jade is alright? She was a good teacher, you know. –R.  
_  
_He'll probably be really good. Sakura told me that he actually helped to train her magic, so he must be good._ Harry paused for a moment, glancing up at Professor Binns, who continued to lecture without pause. _About Jade... I shouldn't have said anything in class. Maybe she would've been able to keep her job if I hadn't spoken up. At least Dumbledore found a way to keep her here. I think the Greasy Git would've had my head if Jade had been sent away. And she IS a good teacher. Best DADA we've had since Moony. –H.  
_  
He passed the note back to Ron and watched as his friend read it. The youngest of the Weasley boys quickly scratched out a reply. The note was shoved back at him, and Harry unfolded it eagerly. _Oy, mate. Don't feel bad. It wasn't your fault. If you hadn't said that You-Know-Who had returned I'm sure that Jade would've. And I'd probably watch out around the Greasy Git tomorrow in class. What is up with him and Jade anyways? How can she be nice to him? -R.  
_  
_Yeah. I'll be sure to be on my toes tomorrow in class. I get the feeling that Jade went to school with the Git and the Marauders. But I don't know what's up with her and Snape._ Harry paused, considering. He wasn't sure if he should mention it to Ron... _I overheard Li and Sakura the other day. They said something about Snape and Jade having remarkably similar auras. I wasn't quite sure what they were talking about. Think we should ask them about it later? –H.  
_  
_Definitely, mate. I hate being left in the dark about things, and I know you feel the same way. Hey, do you think Jade was friends with the Marauders when she was in school? She was a Gryffindor, after all. –R.  
  
Yeah. We can ask them later tonight. I wouldn't be surprised if she were friends with at least my Mum. From what I know about her, she probably would've been good friends with Jade. Anyways. Let's talk about this after class. I think Binns is starting to notice. –H.  
  
_Ron nodded as he read the note, then turned back to his History of Magic textbook. Harry turned to his own book, and was soon lost in his thoughts. _Well,_ he thought to himself, _my hand hurts, my scar hurts, I got a teacher fired, Snape will probably have my head for it anyways, and I can't figure out what to do with a beautiful, powerful, sweet, adorable transfer student..._ He sighed, grateful that the bell for lunch had finally rung and interrupted his train of thought. He gathered up his things and left the class with Hermione, Ron, and Li.

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**A/N:** Hm. Yes. I'm fairly happy with the way this one turned out. I like the idea of revealing his inner thoughts through a note with Ron. Ah, and just a quick reply to **crazy daisy** – technically I started the other story before I ever even thought about the cross over. But have no fear. I'm pretty sure that I will have finished the cross over by the time the summer is over. Look for the next chapter or two to be up by the end of the weekend. And thanks for your review! 


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